I’m tramping……. Setting out with my pack on my back, and jump in my step. I feel ready to take on all that is ahead. I have been in training for months and know the course and the ups and down that are to come. I feel confident that I can make it and start off to a great start. I have help with my pack and it feels as light as a feather. I round the corner and see a steep hill. I figure this must be the hard part that I was expecting.
I dig it in, head down, focused and one step in front of the other….. the goal is insight. I enjoy the challenge find it hard but still have a smile on my face …….. I make it. I relax at the top (or so I think) feeling proud of my achievement and marvelling at the awesomeness of God creation as I overlook this new scene. The view from the top…. A place I have never been to, but always wondered what it was like.
I round the next corner only to find that what I thought was the hard part was not even the start of what is to come.
I look ahead, keep walking a few steeps…. feeling numb and empty. I crumble to the ground……. a ground that now feels such a long way down from the high that I was once at.
My pack become heavy and I feel that I can no longer find anyone to carry it. I am afraid of what is to come….. Afraid I will not be able to manage it…. afraid that my BODY can’t manage it.
I feel lost…. However I have a map in my pocket (which I’m refusing to look at, feeling as though it has already let me down).… there I will find the guidance, strength and support I need to get there…… if I could only open it!
But I pick myself up……take a deep breath, wipe back the streams of tears that continue to flow and walk in the direction to which I have no idea what I am about to face ….
And at this stage all I can do is put one foot in front of the other…… and right now that will just do.
