I feel like I have cried till no more tears can come. I feel like I have made peace. I feel like I have put things in God hands. I feel like I’ve now got my smile back. I feel like I’m in control and yet I have given my timing over to him....knowing that his is better.
But then a song comes on..... A song that has no particular meaning to me, yet it manages to make me feel like I’m back at the start again. Needing to cry a few more tears that I thought had all dried out. Needing to lay it once again at his feet when I thought I already had. That I have lost all control when I felt I had it all back, and that I’m actually weak when I thought I had become strong. That the rain has come again when I was waiting for the sun.
Then the song changers and I remember that I am allowed to be weak........... That I don’t have to be in control, and that I may need to continue to lay it every day at his feet.
“He is jealous for me... loves like a hurricane and I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy”.........
And then I remember after the rain comes the sun, and with that comes a rainbow and........ “He loves us.... oh how he LOVES us”.
And then I remember after the rain comes the sun, and with that comes a rainbow and........ “He loves us.... oh how he LOVES us”.
(Song: How He Loves, by Kim Walker)
this is beautiful, kate. i know those schizophrenic feelings, when you think you've worked through things only to have it all back in your face again & realizing there is still more to be learned . . . i think wisdom can only be gained by going through these times. keep writing : ).
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